What is a Spiritual Family?
7:28:00 AM
Brian Tolle
Within Christian circles there is much debate on the topic of 'family' and 'spiritual family'. What does Jesus say about the family unit? What is the role of a 'spiritual' family? I want to weigh in on this hot topic...
The Bible opens its beautiful story in the book of Genesis. In the creation account, God creates the first human. And immediately after His first creation, we are told that it wasn't "very good" until there was another human created. Two together - in community - with each other, and with God. And it was in a sweet garden. This makes sense being created in the image of a God who is a plurality of oneness in the Trinity - Father, Son & Holy Spirit. From the very beginning of creation there has been community. And I believe we have a constant yearning in our souls to be one as God is one. So what does this have to do with a spiritual family? Everything.
We are beings who are created for community. It does not mean everyone created by God is created for marriage. There's a big difference. And not everyone that is created by God is called to have children. And not everyone that is married has a defined role. The wife is not always called to be a stay at home mom who cooks and takes care of the home. The husband is not always called to work full time. This limits God's calling on our lives, which could be anything. It's His plan of redemption in the world, not our own plan or our narrow "defined" roles. We must always be seeking the Kingdom of God first in our lives and our relationships. To place family above Jesus and His Kingdom is blasphemous. For more on marriage and singleness see 1 Corinthians 7. Can you imagine someone saying, "Oh...if only Mother Teresa was married and had babies...think about what she could have done for the world then!?" Nonsense. We can also look to Jesus, who was not married or had any kids. Instead, Jesus calls us to re-envision the family unit. Not to idolize our biological family. Any Christian teaching that preaches that everyone should be married is a mistake. It's also a mistake to say that everyone married couple should 'be fruitful and 'multiply'. It completely isolates someone's calling to singleness. Being single is a gift (see Matthew 19:10-12). After all, some of the most famous heroes and she-roes of the faith in the Bible and in Church history that we study and emulate have been single - St. Francis & Clare of Assisi, Mother Teresa, the apostle Paul, Jeremiah, John the Baptist & of course, Jesus.
I have also heard of conversations recently that speak about "...we should be having more 'Christian' children to keep up with the amount of Muslim children in the world." I'm not sure how to even respond to something like that other than it is total insanity and craziness. At what point in the Gospels are we told to "keep up"? This sentiment promotes a false Gospel. As followers of Jesus, we are not called to breed children to expand the Kingdom of God. We are called to love all children and people of the earth. We have no other choice if we claim to believe that all are created in the image of God. Muslim babies are not a problem. They are just as loved and precious to God - like all children are. We are called to glorify God - not evangelize by force and fear.
Is there a need for a healthy family unit? Yes, absolutely. Are we called to love one another and serve one another unconditionally within the family unit? For sure. Should we neglect our families and relationships to focus our attention on wealth and our jobs? Heck no. The truth is, as human beings, we have the creative ability to make an idol out of anything. But as a follower of Jesus, that's a no-no. We are called to community, to love God and our neighbor, and that can be found through relationships or a family unit. We are called to be "re-born" (John 3:1-8).
There is this crazy story in the Gospel of Mark where Jesus is told that his biological family is outside of a home where he is speaking - and they want to talk to him. Take a look what Jesus says:
“Who are my mother and brothers?…Whoever does God’s will
is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:31–35)
This is pretty radical. We are told that we are adopted into God's family (as orphans), and that we are born again. When we are born again - our new spiritual family transcends our biological family and even our nationality. Hence the family language of 'brothers and sisters' in the context of the global Church. We literally have brothers and sisters all over the planet who have been re-born. I am married and have kids whom I love with every ounce of my soul. And I believe the most compassionate and intimate love that we can experience in this world is equal to my wife's love that she had the very first time she held our twins. It is equal to the love and compassion I have for my wife, Cara. Jesus is saying that same love must be extended in our re-birth. The same audacious love a mother has for her baby or that a little child has for his or her mommy and daddy is extended to all of our human family. Biological family is too small of a vision.
If we are truly Christians, if we are born again, then we have new eyes with which to see family. This is what Jesus did when he was dying on the cross and said to John, “This is your mom now” (John 19:26). Jesus had a broad vision of what family looks like.
In the time of Jesus, just as in our own day and age, family is one of the most significant roadblocks to potential risk-takers who would leave everything for the way of the cross. Jesus calls us to get in the line for our cross. To embark on a life of self-sacrifice and love towards all. Thankfully we don't have to do it alone. The call of following Jesus is the ultimate risk - even risk of death. It has always been the call. It requires letting go of this life. This might explain why Jesus has some harsh things to say about our ability to cling to earthly responsibilities, such as leaving behind our mothers and fathers and all that is “born of the flesh.” These earthly obligations and obsessions create a narrow vision that stands in the way of God’s vision, which is larger than biological families.
We should love our spiritual family. We should love those closest to us. But Jesus doesn't leave it there. He invites us to love other people's kids and families with the same love and passion with which we love our own. We are called to put our faith and love into action. If our faith and love is boxed in by a myopic view of family - we have no chance to love our neighbors - locally and globally.
"The revolution begins inside each of us, and through little acts of love,
it will take over the world. Let us begin to be Christians again.
Jesus, give us the courage.”
(Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical)
BT
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