Following Jesus
Brian Tolle
May 30, 2015

If I had to guess, it was somewhere between 2007 and 2008. I was 25 years old and had only been married for a little over a year. I had tried to live 'the ways of the world' but found dead ends everywhere I went. I wanted to know who I was. While it took a bit of time to figure that out, there was one thing about how I was created that us undoubtedly clear - my LOVE for music. My earliest memories of my life involve music. I heard the sounds of The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Dylan, the Rolling Stones, etc. all over my house - daily. In fact, I don't remember a time when music wasn't playing. Music provided a soundtrack to my life. There were stories of love, heartache, rebellion and pain. Everyone had their own unique way of expressing these feelings through lyrics and chord arrangements - and I've been hooked ever since.

Naturally I wanted to learn how to do this. I started with piano (around the age of 4) and began to train how to play music by ear. That's a fancy way of saying that I could not read music. I just learned the basic chords and chord patterns and started trying to figure out these songs. The Beatles' Let it Be was the first song I learned. I can still play it today.

After piano, I moved onto playing guitar at the age of 12. This was somewhere around 1994. Not many kids my age played guitar - but I was determined to play and sound like Jimi Hendrix (I'm still trying). Even though I also enjoyed sports and building fires and camps in the woods, playing music was something different. There was always something new to learn - something new to discover about myself.

As I progressed in skill, I put together a band in middle school. We were probably not that great, but we thought we were. We played at the local talent show and a few other places in town. By the time I made it to High School - we were playing at the Cincinnati fireworks show and other "bigger" venues.

As our band grew in popularity - the lifestyle of late nights and partying started to define who I was. I tried so hard to let the world define me, but it was killing me physically, emotionally and spiritually. It just didn't work. It all came to a crashing halt when I finally decided to follow Jesus in 2007. I was finally starting to figure out "who I was" and my identity was found in Jesus - not the world. This led me to be a pastor. Talk about crazy!? It really is crazy.

As Bob Dylan said, time is a jet plane, it moves too fast.

It's been 8 years since that decision. It has flown by. My kids were born in that time, I was asked to join the Crossroads staff in 2009 and now a pastor at our location in Florence. My marriage has healed and thrived. My small group of friends and community are amazing. I've also learned that following Jesus is not easy. It's a difficult vocation. But it's worth it. It's a journey of discovery that comes with a cost. But it's worth it. I see the world completely differently. But it's worth it.

What has changed over these 8 years? A lot.
How I see my role within the world.
Embracing the traditions of the church.
Seeing Jesus and the world through non-violent eyes and a sense of peace.

But one thing has not changed in those 8 years. My fascination and desire to know more about Jesus. It hasn't changed - only increased. When I first got a glimpse of Jesus, it changed everything about my life. That glimpse has grown into a deeper, richer faith that keeps on growing. The best part is, I'm probably just getting started. This is what I read about. This is what I write about. This is what I teach.

Keep on keepin' on,

BT

Here's what I'm listening to as I write this: